I'm On Fire. You Are?

Just what do you have to do for a man to notice?

Mets pitcher, Matt Harvey, who recently appeared naked in ESPN magazine (ahhh...no...I don't have any idea why) recently put his non-observant brethren to the test.

Disclosure: I had no idea who Matt Harvey was. I didn't know ESPN had a magazine. I don't know a Met from a Yankee. I only absorbed this, and what follows, in case I ever needed more ammunition when proving my husband wrong.

Matt Harvey conducted an experiment to see if men pay any attention. At all.

Well, I don't know if Matt has a wife (probably not, since a man who poses naked with a birthday cake, or whatever the hell, in front of his "little slugger" is clearly wife-less) but if he does, she could have saved him the trouble and just told him what all women already know...

Men don't pay much attention.

Maybe, she did tell him and he just wasn't listening.

Anyway, Matt stood outside the stadium with a microphone, posing as a news reporter (mercifully, dressed) to see if any of the guys would notice it was him.

"Who's your favorite player?" Matt asked.

"Matt Harvey." Man turns his back to the camera so everyone can see his baseball uniform shirt with HARVEY blazing across his shoulders.

"Wow. So, what would you say to him if you could talk to him?" Matt Harvey asks.

Man with HARVEY shirt turns back around, "Keep shining," he answered, teary eyed, overrun with emotion to be asked about a guy who clearly means so much to him.

"I'll tell him if I see him." Matt assures.

High five.

After four or five of the same, Matt decided to put on a baseball cap, hoping to help his gender out with a prop. I mean, lets be fair, maybe these guys can't recognize him without the necessary accoutrement.

"Who's your favorite player?" Matt Harvey asks yet one more HARVEY shirt wearing guy.

"Matt Harvey. He's MY MAN, dude!" Man fist pumps.

"Yeah, well...what would you say to him if you saw him?"

"I LOVE YOU, MAN! You're the best. We're gonna win." Dork, I mean, Man shouted.

"I'll tell him when I see him."

Man looks quizzical, he moves closer to his idol. Ahhh...maybe, the jig's up. Maybe, this guy knows. Maybe, he'll represent.

Man's eyes light up. "Are you really gonna see him?"

I relayed this all to hubby, with glee. 

I think he made listening sounds.

It brought to mind the time a friend of ours, at a party, reminisced with a chuckle...

"Remember when so and so and what's her name were making out in front of your office?'

"Huh?" Hubby's brow knit.

"Yeah, remember? I made a gagging motion and you..."

I cut this off to keep poor hubby from having to pretend he remembered. 

Later, dying to make him remember who so and so and what's her name were, I prodded.

"Who was making out in front of your office?"

"Huh?"

"You know, the other night, it was brought up at the party?"

"Huh? Party?"

Are men really so obtuse or do they just not want to get involved?

A typical conversation:

"Oh, yeah, John mentioned after our meeting that he and his wife are getting divorced." a man says this to his wife about a week after said meeting.

"What?" Wife's hairline goes up. "Why? What happened?"

Hubby shruggs, "I dunno."

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I dunno." he shrugs again. "He didn't say."

"Didn't you ask?"

Deer in the headlights, Hubby says, "No. Why would I do that?"

Wife rolls her eyes heavenward, exasperated. "We've known them forever. He brought it up, he obviously wanted to talk about it," she insists. 

"Yankees are playing."

A funny fact...my hubby can't remember a movie he saw last week or a book he read last month. 

He knows my bra size, though.